The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular hotel resort in Australia.
The chart and table compare the tourist by a region of origin who stayed a particular holiday Resort in Australia.Overall, the majority of visitors at a hotel resort are European and American tourists, recording a long visit, while the reverse is true for Asian and other regions tourists. Moreover European and other regions visitors prefer to stay Camping or Caravans , getting into water activities, whereas Asian and American tourists choose five and four star hotel respectively, with sightseeing.
Focusing on European and American Tourist firstly, they exhibit higher numbers. The percentage of European tourist accounts for 37 %, closely followed by American Tourist who the figure is 35% . Additionally, European visitors stay 16 days in hotel, with standing out a bigger numbers compared to other nations , just ahead of American tourists , at 14 days. European tourists choose staying in camping or Caravan and swimming/ sunbathing, while American visitors opt for staying in 4- star hotel and sightseeing.
As for Asian and other regions visitors, the proportion of Asian and other regions visitors showcases smaller numbers, with respective figures making up 10 % and 18 %. Furthermore , other regions stay 10 days in the hotel as opposed to Asian tourists ,with 7 Days Asian tourists also prefer to stay in 5- star hotel and sightseeing, whilst other regions choose staying in camping or Caravan and surfing.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes some relevant comparisons. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding repetition.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your comparisons.
- Avoid repetition and try to vary your language more.