The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010.
The line graph illustrates the proportion of variety age groups who went to the gyms once a month the European people in 1990 to 2010.
Overall, while there was an upward trend in the proportion of people who went to the gym for all age groups, the percentage of 45-year-old people showed the lowest percentage compared to other groups. Most people were the least interested to go to the gym last decade.
In details, the proportion of 18-24 age groups, starting with 10% in 1990, and fluctuated during the period, it was dramatically growth to 58% in 2010. The percentage of 25-34 age groups, made up 8% in 1990. It fluctuated from 1919 to 1998, and slightly rise to 50 at the end of the period. According to 35-44-year-old individuals, 5% of people went to the gym in this group in 1990. This figure experienced similar about 20% from 2000 to 2006. It was significantly increased to 40% from 2006 to 2010. When it comes to old group, 45 and over, starting with 3% in 1990, at the end account for 20% in 2010.
The essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, overview, and details. However, the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and lack of clear topic sentences.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph.
- Ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Summarize key trends more effectively.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some words are repeated, and there are occasional inaccuracies.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence fragments.
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in analysis. Some data points are inaccurately reported.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data from the graph.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of trends and comparisons.