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The chart below gives information about global population percentages and distribution of wealth by region

The bar graph presents data on amount of world people and shared wealth by region. Overall, it can be seen that, North America got the best proportion of population and funds devided among them, whereas India presented worst figures among other participants.
North America’s inhabitants remained around 6%, while their finencial conditions got the highest result with just under 35%. Latin America and Caribbean’s population figures presented around 8%, however amount of shared funds among them were half of population and got 4%.An opposite, proportion presented Europe with 15% of population living there and 30% of wealth distribution among them. The percentage of people who live in Rich Asia-Pacific reached 5%, while shared wealth among them were 5 times higher with approximately 24%.
Africa and India distributed around 1% of finances among 10% and 15% people, in turn. Similarly, China and Other Asia-Pacific got probably 3% of fund which were shared around their population which consisted approximately 23% and 17%, respectively.

5.5

The essay has a logical structure but lacks clear linking words and transitions.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
  • Improve the flow between sentences.

Vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision.

Frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and clarity.

Suggestions
  • Provide more detailed comparisons.
  • Ensure all data is clearly explained.
  • Avoid vague language and ensure accuracy in data representation.