The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
The bar chart shows changes in the weekly spending of families in one country, in the 50-year period, 1968 and 2018.
Overall, huge and small differences were observed in terms of spending their income. Moreover, housing, leisure, and transport were the expenditures that increased in fifty years, in a matter of percent.
Focusing on the increases first, in 1968, housing was the second-ranked figure in the proportion of weekly spending with 10%, which was a bit higher than transport and leisure, by 2% and 1%, respectively. After the 50-year period, all three mentioned figures experienced a dramatic rise, the proportion of leisure and housing doubled and reached its peak at around 20%, whereas the figure for transport rose considerably by 6%, in the proportion of weekly expenditure.
As for the remaining, through the span, the proportions of food and clothing decreased as fast as double from 35% and 10% by the year of 2018. And also, 6% income was spent on fuel and electricity in 1968, and 8% on personal goods, those figures show slight decreases by about 3-4%. It’s also notable that the proportion of expenditure for household goods remained unchanged by 2018 at 7%.
The essay provides a clear overview and organizes information logically, but some transitions and connections between ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Clarify the relationship between ideas.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary accurately but lacks some variety and precision in expression.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures but contains some errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task and provides relevant details, but some data is inaccurately described.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data is accurately represented.
- Provide specific examples from the chart.
- Clarify comparisons between years.