The chart below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018
The chart shows informations about how families in one country spends their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.
Overall, the biggest spending in 1968 was food, but in 2018 housing become the largest. Over the time, spending on food droped a lot, while spending on leisure rise significantly.
In 1968, families spend most of their income for food, which was 35%. This was followed by housing at 10% and clothing and footwear also at 10%. Transport took 14%, while only 9% was used for leisure. Spending on fuel and power, household goods, and personal goods was smaller, at 6%, 8% and 4% each.
By 2018, housing takes the largest share, making up 19% of weekly income. Food decreased to only 17%, and transport stayed same at 14%. Leisure rose a lot to 22%, while fuel and power drop to 4%. Spending on clothing and footwear also reduce slightly, and other categories did not change much.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few grammatical errors that need to be addressed.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the chart and makes specific comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and by making more specific comparisons between the 1968 data and the 2018 data.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data and make more specific comparisons between the 1968 data and the 2018 data.