The chart below gives information about how families in one county spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
The chart shows informations about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and 2018.
Overall, the biggest spending category in 1968 was food, while in 2018, housing took the largest share. Over the time, spending on food decrease significantly, and money spent on leisure rose a lot.
In 1968, families spent the most of their income on food, which accounted for 35%. This was followed by housing at 10% and clothing and footwear at 10%. Transport was fourth, making up 14% of spending, while only 9% was spent on leisure. Spending on fuel and power, household goods, and personal goods was relatively small, at 6%, 8%, and 4%, respectively.
By 2018, housing became the largest category, taking 19% of income, while food dropped to only 17%. Transport increased to 14%, the same as 1968. Leisure spending almost doubled to 22%, and spending on fuel and power decreased to 4%. Spending on clothing and footwear also dropped slightly, and the other categories saw minor changes.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends over time. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved for smoother transitions between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay. For example, instead of repeating “spending on food,” you could use “food expenditure” or “financial resources devoted to nourishment.”
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to that topic. This will help to avoid any confusion or repetition.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of repetition that could be avoided to further demonstrate lexical range.
The essay makes use of a variety of complex structures and is generally free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of grammatical structures could be improved for greater clarity and sophistication.
The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data, including all relevant categories and their respective percentages. The information is well-organized and clearly presented, with a good overview and specific details. However, the essay could be improved by providing more analysis or comparison of the data at key points.
Suggestions
- Consider including more analysis or comparison of the data at key points to provide a deeper and more critical understanding of the information. This could involve discussing the reasons for the changes in spending patterns or the implications of these changes.