The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of population aged 65 and over in United Kingdom in 1985 and give predicted information for 2035.
Overall, Wales are leading in the aged population criteria with the highest percentage in the both periods, while Northern Ireland and UK with the lowest numbers in past and future years.
Wales, which is the leader in the number of 65 plus aged people in the both past and future years, had about 16 and approximately will have 26 percent of elder people’s percentage in 1985 and 2035, respectively. Scotland which will be 1 % lower in 2035 than Wales, in 1985 had 14%, which was lower than UK and England by one percent.
England, Northern Ireland and UK in 2035 will have the same percentage(just above 23), while in 1985 England and UK again had same percent which is 15, Northern Ireland had lowest number in the entire period of two years, around 12%.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in the use of vocabulary and some words and phrases are repeated.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and make more specific comparisons.
- Use a wider range of structures to discuss the data.