The chart below shows the number of films produced five countries in three years
The bar graph illustrates the number of movies created in five different countries in three years.
Overall, country A had the highest number of films produced. Notably, countries A and B witnessed a decline, while the reverse was true in the case of B, C, and E.
Delving into details, the number of films that produced country A accounted for about 87, and after a year, this figure leveled off at this point. However, in 2009, this rate experienced a slight decrease of 7 from 87 to 80. Starting at roughly 15 movies in 2007, the number of films released by country B fell to just under 10 in 2008 and rebounded to 12 in 2009.
As regards country B, the figures for the years 2007 and 2008 show almost the same number of movies manufactured, constituting 50 and 51, respectively. By 2009, this country increased gradually until reaching its 70; likewise, despite spending it only on the 10 films in 2007. The number of movies made by country C witnessed a steady growth to 18 movies by 2009. In respect of country E, this figure rose slightly from just below 10 in 2007 to about 12 in the final year.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through the text. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The writer also presents a good level of detail and supports the main points with relevant data. However, the writer could improve by providing a more detailed comparison of the data.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more detailed comparison of the data. This could involve discussing the largest and smallest changes or the most significant trends.