The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport
The bar chart gives information about the number of trips made by children aged 5 to 12 in one country between 1990 and 2010 to journey from school using various modes of transport each year. Overall, the physical activity which walking accounted for the highest point in 1990 with just above 12 million, but the car passengers made up about 11 million in 2010. However, the other modes of transport were used less in both of year.
Looking at the details, walking is popular among other type of transportation. In 1990, walking accounted for around 12 million trips, but in 2010, it was only 6 million. Another mode of transport, car passengers reached their peak in 2010 with 11 million trips while in 1990 they were used less at 4 million trips.
The remaining type of transport such as cycling, walking and bus as well as the only bus made up around 6 million respectively in 1990. However, in trips this kind of transportations are used rare in 2010.
The essay provides a basic overview of the data but lacks clear organization and logical progression. Some comparisons and details are mentioned, but the overall structure is not cohesive.
Suggestions
- Organize the essay into clear paragraphs.
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with some inaccuracies. There is limited use of varied vocabulary.
The essay contains grammatical errors and lacks a range of complex structures. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments.
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in analysis and comparison. Key details are missing or inaccurately reported.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons between 1990 and 2010.
- Ensure all data points from the chart are accurately represented.
- Provide a clearer summary of overall trends.