The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The following pie chart demonstrates the percentage of graduate students from the University of Brighton who applied to different sectors in 2019. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that the service industry was the most popular option for graduates. Education, politics, and the manufacturing industry were also mostly chosen sectors. Charity, on the other hand, was the least on the list.
Brighton University students were mainly interested in working in the service industries; therefore, it accounted for 33.0%. In addition, Manufacturing institution were also opted for by many students, with 16.3%, which is the second most popular option for candidates. Similarly, the areas of education and politics were revealed almost the same proportion 14.7% and 12.1% respectively. Other sectors, however, were not as common as above, such as transportation and warehousing; science and technology accounted 7.3% and 7.8% respectively. Finally, sport, charity and other working sectors showed less then 2.8%.
The essay is logically organized and the information flows well. However, there are a few areas where the connection between ideas could be clearer. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but there are a few instances where their use could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make the relationships between ideas clearer.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where the choice of words could be more precise.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of grammatical form could be more accurate.
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed information on all the points presented in the graph. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and well supported.
Suggestions
- Make sure to double-check the data and make sure it is presented accurately.