The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The following pie chart demonstrates the percentage of graduate students from the University of Brighton who applied to different sectors in 2019.
Overall, it can be seen from the graph that the service industry was the most popular option for graduates. Education, politics, and the manufacturing industry were also mostly chosen sectors. Charity, on the other hand, was the least on the list.
Brighton University students were mainly interested in working in the service industries; therefore, it accounted for 33.0%. In addition, manufacturing institutions were also opted for by many students, with 16.3%, which is the second most popular option for candidates. Similarly, the areas of education and politics were revealed to have almost the same proportion 14.7% and 12.1% respectively.
Other sectors, however, were not as common as above, such as transportation and warehousing; science and technology accounted 7.3% and 7.8% respectively. Finally, sport, charity and other working sectors showed less than 2.8%.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview. However, some comparisons are not explicitly stated, and transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Make clearer comparisons between sectors.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, but some words and phrases are repeated.
The essay displays a variety of sentence structures, but there are minor grammatical errors.
The essay addresses the task requirements, summarizing the main features and making some relevant comparisons. However, it could include more detailed analysis.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons between sectors.
- Highlight key differences more explicitly.