The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.
The pie chart presents statistics from various employment sectors of graduates in Brighton University during the whole year(2019). The units are measured in percentages.
Overall, the service industries were the most popular sector with the highest percentages among the graduate students in Brighton University while the sectors of manufacturing, education, and politics and government were also popular choices for employment even though they share much lower percentages than the dominant sector, with slightly different proportions.
In 2019, 33 percent of graduate students were involved in service industries sector which shows the highest percentage in the entire chart. The figures for manufacturing industry, education, politics and government were at 16,3 percent, 14,7 percent and 12,1 percent respectively. Conversely, the sectors the transportation and warehousing sector, along with science and technology, accounted for another 15.1 percent combined.
Notably, the percentages of graduates entering the civil service and other sectors were quite low with 5,6 percent and 2,8 percent whereas graduates from Brighton University showed almost no interest in the charity and sport sectors.
The essay is well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression of ideas. However, some comparisons and contrasts could be more explicit.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Make comparisons more explicit.
- Clarify minor details for better understanding.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though it could benefit from more varied word choices.
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar, though minor errors in punctuation and article usage are present.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing an accurate summary of the data with relevant details.
Suggestions
- Ensure all sectors are mentioned accurately.
- Provide a more detailed comparison of sectors.