The chart below shows the results of the survey of business people in three different years about factors that make managers good at their jobs. Respondents rated the factors from 1 to 5, according to the importance.
The bar chart gives data for survey results in terms of which aspects managers can do their work well taken from business people between 2010 and 2020. The importance of the factors was rated from 1 to 5. Overall, responsibility and good communication of managers gained high scores in all three years, while the others were graded lower.
Regarding two high-scored factors, the first one was rated with 5 except in 2015, indicating 4, whereas the other got the same 4 grade in both 2010 and 2015. Still managers’ good communication skill took one point higher result in the final year of the questionnaire.
When it comes to low graded aspects – transparency, empathy, and vision, their highest grade indicated 4, when the lowest was equal to 1. With regard to transparency, in 2010 and 2020, it was given 3, while in 2015, business people rated it with 4 which was the same as empathy and vision at this time. However, scores for empathy and vision in 2010 and 2020 were excessively different, rating the former with 1, 2 and the latter with 4 in both factors, respectively.
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Clarify the comparison between years for better understanding.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
The essay uses a varied vocabulary but occasionally lacks precision.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering all key features of the chart.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed comparisons between the years.
- Include more specific data points for clarity.