The chart below shows the results of the survey of business people in three different years about factors that make managers good at their jobs. Respondents rated the factors from 1 to 5, according to the importance.
The bar chart compares the results of the questionnaire of business people in the years 2010,2015, and 2020, according to their working abilities, which made them perfect managers in their specialization. Respondents rated them from 1 to 5 according to the importance of working skills.
Overall, respondents gave high scores for managers who have good communication and are responsible for their job while empathy and vision are valued less throughout the period. Meanwhile, scores for transparency showed average rates.
Responsibility and communication skills took higher scores compared to other factors. In 2010, respondents valued responsibility and gave a perfect 5 score, which decreased by 1 point, in 2015, before growing to a 5 score again, in 2020. In terms of communication, people gave a 4 score in the beginning years, which then maximal score(5), in 2020.
In contrast, the value of empathy and vision showed a significant rise. By 2010, people gave 1 score for the former while the latter took 2 scores in terms of importance. After a decade, both figures witnessed considerable increases and took 4 scores each. Additionally, respondents’ attitudes toward transparency remain unchanged. The importance of transparency took 3 scores, in 2010, which grew to 4 scores in 2015, before dropping to the previous score(3).
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. However, the connection between some points could be more explicit.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to enhance clarity.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary accurately, though there is room for more variety and precision.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and supporting details.
Suggestions
- Ensure all key trends and data from the chart are covered.