The chart below shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2008 and 2010
The bar chart shows water levels in six cities in Australia October in the years between 2009 and 2010. Overall, it is clear that in four countries namely Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Canberra water levels increased. The biggest trend was Canberra although it was the same level as Sydney. However, Darwin faced the controversial trend with decreasing rate. As for Brisbane the figure remained unchanged over the year.
While in 2009 two cities-Sydney and Canberra were on the same stage of about 70 %, the latter increased dramatically to 100%, the former however rose only 10% in 2010.
In 2009, Although Melbourne experienced the smallest figure with over 20%, it reached 40% after a year. Furthermore, the trend witnessed significant rise at approximately 70% in 2010 In Perth in spite of beginning with 40% in 2009.
When it comes to Darwin, The figure for water levels reduced to 30% in2010 while it had 40% of reservoirs of water in2009. Moreover, Brisbane stood unchanged under 60% over the year.
The essay presents information in a somewhat logical order, but there are issues with clarity and flow. Some sentences are disjointed, and transitions between ideas are not always smooth.
Suggestions
- Use clearer paragraph structure.
- Improve transitions between sentences and ideas.
- Ensure logical flow of information.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are inaccuracies and repetitions. Some word choices are inappropriate or unclear.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures, affecting readability.
The essay addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and lacks detail in some areas.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data.
- Provide more detailed comparisons and contrasts.
- Avoid vague or ambiguous expressions.