The chart shows the jobs of men and women in 2005 and 2015.
The bar charts compare the distribution of jobs for both male and females over the decade from 2005 to 2015. Overall, males were dominant in every job sector in 2005, except for administrators, a job females outnumbered the males by far. By 2015, in a couple of jobs, men shared a parity with women, whereas directors were mostly females.
Turning to details, senior management— Vice presidents, Directors and Managers—was occupied by men. 65% of the vice presidents, 60% of the directors, and 46% of the managers were reported to be men. Women in these jobs were over 25% in general, 25% for Vice president, 40% for the directors, and 42% for the managers. In contrast, these figures have been changed comparatively by 2015. Vice presidents and managers showed exactly the same figures, 45% for each. As for the directors, males lose their dominance, with 60% workers being female as opposed to 40% of men.
With regard to support jobs— analysts and administrators, they indicated relatively different trends. The job, analyzing, was primarily done by males in 2005 with 65%, but it remained unchanged in 2015 as well. 85% of males were employed as administrators in the former year, and a mere 10% workers were men. Similarly, there was a resemble figure in 2015 alike: males accounted for 20% with slight increase, while the women constituted 80%.
The essay is generally well-organized but lacks clear transitions between some ideas.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Clarify the comparison between years more explicitly.
- Group similar data together for better flow.
The vocabulary is appropriate but could be more varied.
The essay contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
The essay addresses the task but lacks some detailed analysis of data.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points to support statements.
- Ensure all comparisons between 2005 and 2015 are clear.