The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.
The chart shows the main reasons why teenagers in one African country used their phones from 2016 to 2019. The four main purposes were social networks, email, using a digital camera, and making phone calls.
Overall, social networks were the most popular reason for using phones, and their popularity increased steadily throughout the period. On the other hand, using phones for email and digital cameras became less common over time.
In 2016, about 29% of teenagers used phones for social networks, making it the second most popular purpose after phone calls, which accounted for 35%. Over the next three years, social networks increased sharply and reached 56% in 2019, becoming the dominant reason for using phones.
In contrast, phone calls decreased gradually from 35% in 2016 to 20% in 2019. A similar trend can be seen with emails, which dropped from 15% to only 5% by the end of the period. Meanwhile, using phones for digital cameras remained relatively stable, fluctuating slightly between 10% and 13%.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression from one idea to the next is smooth.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
The range of vocabulary is quite wide and the words are used appropriately. However, there is still room for more variety in the use of language.
The range and control of grammatical structures are quite good. However, there are a few minor errors that could be improved.
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed information on the data presented. The writer addresses all parts of the task and presents a well-developed response.
Suggestions
- Make sure to always use data from the chart to support your statements. This will make your analysis more objective and credible.