The charts
The pie chart shows the places where young people in a town in Australia take dance classes, and the bar chart gives information about the types of dance classes attended by two age groups: under 11 and 11–16.
Overall, most dance classes happen in private studios, and modern dance is the most popular style. Ballet has the least number of students compared to other types of dance.
First, private studios are the most common location, with 48% of classes held there. School halls are the second most popular at 24%, followed by community halls and other places at 18%. College-based studios are the least used, making up just 10%.
In terms of dance styles, modern dance is the most popular, especially for the 11–16 age group, with almost 700 students. For children under 11, about 400 students take modern dance. Tap dance is more popular with younger students, at around 450, while only 350 older students take it. Ballet has the lowest participation, with fewer than 200 students in both age groups.
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and logical flow. However, it could benefit from more explicit connections between the pie and bar chart data.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
- Summarize key points at the end for better cohesion.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, though it could be more varied.
The essay demonstrates good grammatical control with minor errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing and comparing key features of the charts.
Suggestions
- Include a brief conclusion to summarize findings.
- Ensure all key data points are covered.