The charts below show the percentage of students at an adult education center taking various courses offered since 1985 and this year.
The charts illustrate the proportion of students, enrolling in several different courses in an education center that is for only adults. The courses were offered in two separate years: 1985 and the current year.
Overall, It is clear that Although the most popular enrolled courses were contemporary languages, fitness, and dance stand out in the present time. It is also worth mentioning that a course for people of music lovers used to be with the least interest as for now it is no longer represented on the chart.
In 1985 the proportion of foreign languages was with the highest interest accounting for 24%. It was followed by fitness and dance at 22%. As for art, local history, and cookery, the percentage of enrollment was 17%,15%, and 14% respectively. As regards Music appreciation, the students showed the lowest interest percentages at 8%.
This year, IT became the course with the highest enrollment rate at 27%, replacing local history and music appreciation courses. Surprisingly the percentage of fitness and dance courses remained unchanged at 22%. Enrollment rates for contemporary languages and art were 7%, and 2% lower than in the year 1985 respectively. Lastly, the students with an interest in learning cookery showed a higher percent than it was in 1985.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking words. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be improved for clarity.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the charts and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The key features and significant trends are identified and described. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and making more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the information presented in the charts.
- Make more specific comparisons between the different courses to provide a deeper analysis of the data.