The charts below show the percentage of students at an adult education centre taking various courses offered in 1985 and this year.
The graph compares two pie charts according to the proportion of students who took different courses in an AEC (adult education centre), in 1985 and the present year.
Overall, more than a quarter of the total AEC students have commonly attended IT courses, as the expense of reduction in the proportion of students in Music and Local history classes, the classes have disappeared by now. All other figures have kept their rank in the proportion of students’ attendance, except Modern Languages, thanks to the reduction in the percentage.
Focusing on the participations of students in Modern languages and Fitness&Dance classes were considered the largest portion in the Adult Education Centre, accounting for 24 and 22 percent, respectively. By now, the former has decreased by 7% and the letter has remained steady. Moreover, Art and Cookery courses were participated by 17% and 14% in 1985, both figures have changed the proportion of students in Cookery classes increased, the reverse is true for Art.
As for the Local History and Music appreciation, the figures were 23 percent in total in 1985, by now, which have changed to IT classes, but 2% more students than in the combination of both.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect grammatical structures.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Include specific data from the charts to support your main points.
- Consider comparing and contrasting the data more systematically to provide a clearer and more detailed analysis.