The charts below show the percentage of students at an adult education centre taking various courses offered in 1985 and this year
The chart show the percentage of student enrolled in different courses at an adult education center in 1985 and this year. Overall, in 1985, many student take courses in fitness, dance, and modern language, while some also studied art, cooking, and local history. This year, modern languages see a decrease in students, while art and cooking courses stays similar. Fitness and dance have no change, but IT replace local history and music appreciation, with many student now choosing IT.
In 1985, modern language had the highest enrollments at 24%. Fitness and dance followed with 22%, while art had 17%, and local history had 15%. Cooking course accounted for 14%, and music appreciation was the lowest at 8%.
This year, IT become the most popular course with 27%, replacing local history and music appreciation. Modern languages drop to 20%, while art decrease slightly to 15%. Cooking see an increase to 18%, and fitness and dance remain steady at 22%.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices.
The essay makes some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include specific data from the charts to support your main points.
- Make more precise comparisons between the different courses.