The charts below show the percentage of students at an adult education centre taking various courses offered in 1985 and this year
The chart shows the percentage of students enrolled in different courses at an adult education center in 1985 and this year. Overall, in 1985, many students took courses in fitness, dance, and modern languages, while some also studied art, cooking, and local history. This year, modern languages saw a decrease in students, while art and cooking courses remained similar. Fitness and dance had no change, but IT replaced local history and music appreciation, with many students now choosing IT.
In 1985, modern languages had the highest enrollment at 24%. Fitness and dance followed with 22%, while art had 17%, and local history had 15%. Cooking courses accounted for 14%, and music appreciation had the lowest enrollment at 8%.
This year, IT became the most popular course with 27%, replacing local history and music appreciation. Modern languages dropped to 20%, while art decreased slightly to 15%. Cooking saw an increase to 18%, and fitness and dance remained steady at 22%.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression from one idea to the next is smooth.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to avoid repetition and to further improve the flow of your writing.
The range of vocabulary is quite wide and the student has used some less common and idiomatic language. However, there is still room for improvement in terms of using more varied and sophisticated language.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures. There are few grammatical errors, and these do not impede communication.
The essay provides a clear and detailed overview of the information presented in the charts. The student has successfully summarized the main trends and made relevant comparisons where necessary.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data presented in the charts is accurately reflected in the writing. Double-check the figures and trends to avoid any potential errors.