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The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by sectors in 2008 and 2014

The pie charts illustrate the proportions of volunteers from various organizations between 2008 and 2014.
Overall, the percentages of volunteers from the environmental and healthcare sectors observed an increase, while the remaining four organizations showed the lowest performance. Another interesting point is that healthcare, despite being lower than other sectors, showed significantly higher percentages toward the later period.
In detail, the preferences for specific organizations among volunteers in healthcare, sport, and the environment rose differently over six years. Specifically, the educational, environmental, and sports sectors attracted 24%, 21%, and 18% of volunteers in 2008, respectively. By the next period, apart from environmental organizations, all organizations witnessed significant decreases of about 8% and 12%.
Similarly, the art and other sectors comprised about 15% in 2008. By the next period, both saw some decline, approximately 12% and 9%. While the healthcare organization showed the lowest rate in 2008, by 2014, the percentage of volunteers was much higher, at about 25%.

6.5

The essay presents information in a logical order, but some connections between ideas could be clearer.

Suggestions
  • Use clearer linking words to enhance flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
  • Clarify comparisons between sectors.

The vocabulary is appropriate, but there is some repetition and a lack of variety.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information, but some details could be more precise.

Suggestions
  • Provide precise data comparisons.
  • Ensure all sectors are discussed equally.