The charts below show the proportion of
The pie charts illustrate the percentage distribution of holidaymakers choosing different types of accommodation in the years 1988, 1998, and 2008. Overall, the proportion of holidaymakers staying in rented apartments and hotels increased over the years, while the percentages for camping and staying with family declined.
Focusing on the decreases first, the percentage of holidaymakers staying with family was the highest at 52% in 1988. This figure experienced a slight rise to 54% in 1998 before dropping significantly to 44% in 2008. Similarly, camping, which accounted for 15% of holidaymakers in 1988, witnessed a gradual decline to 13% in 1998 and further to 12% in 2008.
Turning to the increases, there was a noticeable rise in the popularity of rented apartments and hotels. In 1988, 7% of holidaymakers opted for rented apartments, while hotels were chosen by 15%. By 1998, the proportion of hotel users rose to 22%, where it remained unchanged in 2008. Meanwhile, the percentage of those staying in rented apartments grew to 11% in 1998 and then doubled to 22% by 2008.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is structured in a way that makes the information easy to follow.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
The range of vocabulary is quite wide and the writer has used a good mix of simple and complex words and phrases. However, there are a few instances where more precise language could be used.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a variety of grammatical structures. There are few grammatical errors, and these do not impede communication.
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed information on the given task. The writer has addressed all parts of the task and presented, extended, and supported ideas.
Suggestions
- Make sure to always include an overview of the main trends or patterns in your introduction. This sets the stage for the rest of the report and helps to guide the reader’s understanding.