The charts below show the proportion of people's total spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.
The bar charts demonstrate people’s expenditures on various services and goods in one of the European countries between 1998-2008. Overall, it can be seen that while expenditures on clothing and electronic goods increased, less money was spent on holidays, magazines, and going out to the cinema. Only one category, which is eating out, remained stable and did not see any changes.
Focusing on increases first, Europeans spent 12% of their income on eating out in 1998, however, this number increased considerably and constituted 18% in 2008. Similarly, people started allocating more money to acquiring electronic goods. Staring at 16% in 1998, this figure reached 20% percent in 2008.
On the other hand, people spent less money on holidays. In 1998, 8% of their budget went to holidays, whereas in 2008, only 5% was allocated to recreation. Six per cent of the income was distributed equally between magazines and going to the cinema in 1998, however, both categories saw a decline to 1% in 2008.
Finally, only the percentage of money spent on restaurants and cafes did not undergo any changes, indicating 6% in both years.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of information.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The writer uses vocabulary appropriately and accurately.
The essay uses a wide range of structures and there are few grammatical errors. Those that do occur are ‘slips’ and do not impede communication.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and accurately described.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully understand the data presented in the charts and the trends or differences are clearly identified and described.