Skip to main content

The charts show the average levels of particpation in education and the highest education level of adults from 2010 to 2010 in Singapore.

The bar chart provides data on the average number of years spent at educational institutions, while the pie charts illustrate the highest education levels of the Singapore population between 2002 and 2010. Overall, the number of years people spent studying increased steadily, regardless of gender. However, male students showed consistently higher figures throughout the period than their female counterparts. Regarding the pie charts, one can easily notice that there was a big shift towards obtaining higher education, with large proportions of people pursuing master’s and bachelor’s degrees in 2010.
Looking at the bar chart, it can be seen that there was a small discrepancy between male and female students at the beginning of the period, with approximately 9 years for men and 8 years for women. However, the figures for men rose steadily in the next few years, accounting for 9,5 years in 2002, 9,8 years in 2004, and 10.1 years in 2008. Consequently, there was a substantial growth to 12 years at the end of the period. By contrast, numbers for women did not witness any major changes, hoovering around 8,2 years and reaching 8,3 years in the final year.
Finally, more and more people entered universities, which is indicated by the increasing number of students in higher education. In 2000, a mere 7.5 % of people studied for a master’s degree, which is almost 4 times less than in 2010 (30.31%). Similarly, the number of students with a university qualification constituted only 8.3 % in 2000 and rose dramatically to 32.93% in 2010.
Conversely, the percentage of people with basic school education decreased. Starting with primary school education, the rate of people plummeted from 25.77% in 2000 to 2.1% in 2010. People who obtained secondary school qualifications accounted for 26.3%, but dropped to 15.2%. Furthermore, a considerable decrease was seen in the percentage of people with highschool diplomas, with 19.55% in 2010 compared to 32.13% in 2000.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer effectively uses a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and make the writing flow smoothly. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved for better clarity and flow.

Suggestions
  • Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic to improve overall coherence.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be clarified for better understanding.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate with a few minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing that could be improved for better clarity and precision.

The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the information presented in the charts. The writer effectively highlights the key trends and makes relevant comparisons where necessary. However, the writer could improve the depth of analysis by providing more detailed explanations or interpretations of the data.

Suggestions
  • Try to provide more detailed explanations or interpretations of the data to enhance the depth of your analysis.