The crime rate is usually much higher in cities than in rural areas. Why is this? What can be done to address the problem of city crime?
In the 21st century , there has been more increase in the number of crimes happening in urban areas rather than that in rural ones . While this problem can be largely attributed to a combination of a high level of unemployment and a lack of parental approach , I believe this challenge can be effectively addressed by introducing news laws by governments
The primary reason why people in cities are committing antisocial activities as opposed to their rural counterparts is that the rate of joblessness is much higher in urban areas due to dense population . With extremely expensive life , having lots of daily needs like transport , children education and food while they have no job to meet the expenses , city population struggling with unemployment is forced to do a crime in order to achieve financial stability or solve their financial issues . For example , a man from a family in which a member of theirs is suffering from an illness and needs an immediate operation during such a challenging situation has no alternative but to do anything including a crime to find money to recover his relative . Furthermore , having less interaction with parents among the young is another contributing factor for this phenomenon . This is mainly because most parents live in a hectic lifestyle where they work overtime having less time to spend with their children to create a financially comfort zone for their family . However , as their children are left uncontrolled , they feel free to do what they want . They may even join in a community where people convict crimes regularly like breaking in or stealing other `s belongings .
Despite this , it is still possible to eliminate this matter successfully as long as some steps are taken into action by governments. Firstly , some governmental business loan should be channeled into setting up a family bossiness for those struggling with unemployment. Such investment , if organized consistently , can play the role of bridge to decrease the rate of unemployed people and supply them with regular income . Moreover , if working hours are shortened , it can be also a positive solution for this a growing concern , not least because people will have a chance to pay attention to what their children are doing . Consequently , children engaged in antisocial actions may be natured with an appropriate parental approach respectively .
In conclusion , even though an increasing number of crimes is being convicted in cities as opposed to the countryside owing to a lack of job positions and parental integration with the young , we can still address this issue with the help of governing bodies.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the connection between different ideas could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “antisocial activities” could be replaced with “criminal activities,” and “family bossiness” with “family support programs.” Improving word choice and using more precise language will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward sentence construction. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “city population struggling with unemployment is forced to do a crime” should be “city dwellers struggling with unemployment are forced to commit a crime.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the higher crime rates in cities compared to rural areas and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear thesis statement and provides relevant explanations and examples to support their points. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Overall, the essay provides a thorough and well-supported response to the prompt.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well-supported with relevant examples and explanations.