The diagram below shows how bottled and canned carbonated drinks are made.
The diagram illustrates the production process of bottled and canned carbonated drinks. Overall, it takes 5 distinct stages and several special machines to produce carbonated drinks. It is also clear that the first three stages are connected by way of a pipe system.
The first stage is primarily water treatment, where raw water passes through a filter into a tank. There, various chemicals, including water softeners are added, before a pump sends treated water to the next stage.
Stage 2 starts with a tank featuring electric heaters at the bottom. Once heated, water travels through a cooling pipe toward a larger tank where it is exposed to carbon dioxide.
Carbonated water runs through a long pipe into a special tank, where it is mixed with several additives, such as colouring, syrup and flavour.
The fourth and fifth stages are filling and packaging. The ready carbonated drink has been filtered before it is poured into bottles or cans. Finally, these drinks are put into boxes to be distributed to supermarkets.
The essay is well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. The stages are described in sequence, and the use of transitional phrases helps maintain flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance the flow between stages.
- Ensure each stage is clearly defined with a topic sentence.
- Consider adding a summary sentence to conclude the process.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the production process. There are some instances of repetition.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively covers the main stages of the process and includes relevant details. It closely follows the diagram.