The diagram below shows how cheese is made

The process by which soft cheese is produced can be outlined in 4 consecutive steps. Overall, it is a mechanical process that requires special containers that are connected via pipe. Additionally, the process usually takes 26 hours for making soft cheese.
The production of cheese starts with water and milk being poured in to a container that mixes them. After, mixed liquid undergoes cooling under mixer for 2 hours at 5 gradus Celsius, followed by salting before making it ready for the remaining step – fermentation. Fermenting salted cool liquid requires heating at 37 gradus Celsius at around 6 hours.
The remaining steps – evaporation and cooling – are the most time consuming, requiring 8 hours each. Fermented liquid are went to a container with a steam at the top, where they are heater at 100 gradys Celsius. Lastly, certain amount of substance, except for those that go to waste water, undergoes cooling at 5 gradus Celsius to achieve the final result – soft cheese

7.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the process. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
Consider using more complex sentence structures to provide a more detailed description of the process.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be improved.

The essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the process of cheese production. The information is clearly and logically presented. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details at each stage of the process.