The diagram below shows the changes , which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 and 2007
The two maps illustrate how the town of Pentland changed between 1950 and 2007.
Overall, the Pentland transformed into a modernized town with an increased number of houses, shops and apartments. It is also clear that the town turned into a coastal area with a number of yachts.
In 1950, in the western side of the town, there were industrial areas including big factories with grassland. However it had been destroyed and constructed a park, swimming pool,multi-storey car park, shops and cinema which was located in a separated area with a road in the south.
The northern side of the map, which was located by the sea, it had been changed by adding to them yachts, namely Marina. In 2007, the road was reconstructed to give a good view of the sea.
The car park and grassland was in 1950 in the east of the Pentland. In 57 years, it had been turned into apartments, shops and a large number of houses in the particular area in the south.
The essay presents information in a logical sequence but lacks clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas.
- Include transition words to improve the flow between sentences.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, but it is not always accurate.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task and includes the main features, but lacks detailed comparisons and some clarity.
Suggestions
- Include more specific comparisons between the two maps.
- Ensure all main features are clearly described.
- Provide more detailed descriptions of changes.