The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.
The picture highlights the process by which the olive oil is produced. Overall, it can be seen that there are seven of main steps in the process, from picking olives from trees to delivering to the storage and sale.
First of all, the olives are picked, after that the olives are rinsed with cold water. The next step is that the washed olives are transferred to the conveyor belt for smashing.
Following this, the olives are separeted into olive paste and olive stones during the smashing process. The following step is that the olive paste is then placed into bags with holes, because the holes allow air to pass through preventing any damage to the paste. Once the olives have been pressing in the press machine, they are then divided into oil and water.
The last step is that the extracted oil is delivered to storage facilities and shops in order to be sold.
The essay follows a logical sequence and uses linking words to connect ideas. However, some transitions are abrupt.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each step is clearly distinguished.
- Avoid repetition of similar phrases.
The vocabulary is appropriate but somewhat repetitive.
The essay displays a range of grammatical structures but contains some errors.
The essay addresses the task by describing the process, but lacks detail in some steps.
Suggestions
- Include more details about each step.
- Ensure all steps are clearly explained.