The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.
The given diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing aluminium cans over a six-week period. Overall, it is apparent that the process of making aluminium cans can be outlined in eleven consecutive steps, starting from waste material and ending with new cans.
First of all, waste material is delivered to the factory. After being deposited, the materials are washed with water to prepare them for further processing. The next step is that the waste material is crushed. Once the waste material has been processed in the factory, it is then treated with chemicals. After the chemical treatment stage, the product is heated at a high temperature. Before being weighed, the material is then moulded into a specific shape. The next stage is that the product is rolled in the factory using a rolling machine. Finally, aluminium cans are ready for use.
The essay follows a logical sequence and describes the process step by step. However, the transitions between steps could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each step is clearly connected to the next.
The essay uses appropriate vocabulary for describing the recycling process but lacks variety.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors.
The essay describes the process but omits some details and includes inaccuracies.
Suggestions
- Include all steps accurately as shown in the diagram.
- Ensure the description matches the diagram in detail.