The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.
The diagram illustrates the process of recycling aluminum cans, which involves eleven steps from waste collection to the production of new cans. This process is completed over six weeks and transforms used aluminum into reusable products.The process is a complex one,which require much time to complete
The recycling of aluminum cans consists of eleven stages and takes approximately six weeks. Initially, aluminum waste is collected and deposited at recycling facilities. The cans are then washed with water to remove impurities. Afterward, they are crushed into smaller pieces and processed further to refine the material. Chemicals are used in the next stage to erase any remaining markings or contaminants.
Following this, the aluminum is melted by heating it to a high temperature. The molten material is then molded into sheets and weighed for accuracy. These sheets are rolled into thin layers and processed into new aluminum cans, completing the cycle.
The essay follows a logical sequence and clearly describes the recycling process. However, some sentences could be better connected with linking words to enhance flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect sentences.
- Ensure each step is clearly linked to the next.
- Avoid repetition of information.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, some words are repeated, and there could be more variety.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors that affect clarity.
The essay effectively describes the recycling process, covering all steps. However, it could provide more detail in certain areas.
Suggestions
- Provide more detail on each step to enhance understanding.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition of information.