The diagram below shows the tecycling process of aliminuem cans
The given diagram illustrates information about the recycling of aluminium cans.
First of all, used cans are collected in trash and transported from one distance to another distance by special trucks.
After that, collected cans are faced to special events including cleaning, sorting, shredding and compressing. Following this, they are heated and melted.
After this process, heated cans are rolled 2.5mm or 6mm thick.
After that, they are recycled for reusing. Finally, after six steps, they are ready for consumption which is 74 percent recycled.
The essay follows a logical sequence but lacks clear linking phrases. Some steps are repeated unnecessarily.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Avoid repetitive phrases.
- Clearly connect each stage of the process.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some words are repeated.
The essay contains some grammatical errors and lacks complex sentence structures.
The essay describes the process but lacks detail and specificity in some areas.
Suggestions
- Include more details about each step.
- Ensure all steps are clearly described.
- Avoid vague language.