The diagram shows how to make jam from the fruit.
The diagram illustrates the process of making jam from fruit.
Overall,this process of making involves six steps beginning with pouring tap water into a bucket,and mashing of the fruit, followed by cooking, pouring, closing, keeping and finally transforming the jam into family’s breakfast.
At the first stage,the fruit poured into a bucket with tap water to clean it for the next stage.Then,the cleaned fruit is transferred to the next step,where it is mashed.In this stage,the mashed fruit is cooked at the high temperature for ten minutes, during which,some ingredients such as one cup of water, four cups of sugar ,and two table spoons of peanuts are added to enhance its flavor and consistency.
Subsequently,at the fourth stage,cooked jam is poured in different containers.Next,all containers are closed and kept for one hour.Finally,in the final step,it is served on the table for the family to enjoy it together at breakfast.
The essay is logically organized but lacks some clarity and smooth transitions between steps.
Suggestions
- Use clearer linking words to connect steps.
- Ensure each step is distinctly explained.
- Avoid repetition of words.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in punctuation and sentence structure.
The essay covers the main steps but misses some details and lacks precision in describing the process.
Suggestions
- Include all key details from the diagram.
- Ensure accurate representation of each step.
- Clarify the sequence and importance of each stage.