the diagram shows how to make wool.
The diagram illustrates the process involved in manufacturing wool from sheep leathers. Overall, the producing wool consists of three main stages: initial preparation of leathers from animals, further process of making pre-ready material, and the final stage of making leather products.
The process begins when the sheep leathers are sheared by people, and then they are sent to clean. In the following step, cleaned material is dried outside with the help of the sunlight, prior to spinning it by women through a big spinner. In this phase, the material is separated: a string to recycle.
Another part of a spinned material is a wool to carry out further steps. The next stage involves the process called tufts of wool, where after this is done, it is transferred to a tuft storage. In the penultimate phase, the raw material is shaped like a ball and then it is used to knit as well as make leather clothing items, such as jackets and carpets.
Words: 162
The essay presents the stages of wool production but lacks clarity in progression and logical flow.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to show sequence.
- Clarify the stages more distinctly.
- Ensure logical flow from one stage to the next.
Limited range of vocabulary with some inaccuracies in word choice.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence constructions.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detail and accuracy in describing the process.
Suggestions
- Include all stages of the process as shown in the diagram.
- Use accurate terminology for each stage.
- Provide a clearer overview of the process.