The diagram shows how water is processed to make it drinkable. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the process of treating water to make it safe for drinking. Overall the process begins with extracting water from the river, deliverying clean water to households and ends with sending waste materials for disposal.
The process starts with taking water from the river at the intake pumping station, which then directs to reservoir. Next water transfers through clarification, filter and disinfection to get rid of any bits and germs. The clean water distributes to home schools, workplaces. From the clarification tanks water is treated to a rapid gravity filter and transmited to our house through shortage reservoir.
On the other hand after clarification tanks water is transferred for disposal by thickening and centrifuging. In general water treatment process includes extracting, clarification, filtration, disinfection and distribution. Meanwhile after clarification tanks water goes through sludge thickening and disposal processes.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of information could be improved. The use of cohesive devices is adequate, but there are some instances where the use of linking words or phrases could help to better connect ideas.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use less common and/or more complex vocabulary. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of grammatical accuracy and the use of punctuation.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the process. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed explanations and by making better use of the passive voice, which is more commonly used in process descriptions.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more detailed explanations and to make better use of the passive voice. This will help to make your writing more formal and academic.