The diagram shows the process of making smoked fish.
The process illustartes how smoked fish is prepared. Overall, there are several steps for fish to be ready for consumption including catching, followed by various processing stages, including cutting, pickling, smoking before the end product is finally dostributed.
The process starts when fish are caught in nets which are then taken to port by boats. These are then frozen in containers to prevent spoiling. In the following stages, the frozen fish are thawed in fresh water before being cut open and chopped. Small pieces of fish are, subsequently, pickled in a mixture made up of salt water with added yellow colouring, which prepares the fish for smoking.
Once smoked, the fish are then packaged in small containers made of carton and then frozen at 0 degrees and kept in cold storage. Finally, the ready fish are delivered to fish shops where they are sold.
The essay is logically organized and follows the sequence of the process diagram. However, some transitions between steps could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Clarify any ambiguous stages.
- Ensure each step is clearly distinguished.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the process. Some repetition is present and could be improved.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively describes the process of making smoked fish, covering all key stages.
Suggestions
- Ensure all steps are clearly described.
- Avoid unnecessary details.