The diagram shows the process of making smoked fish.
The diagram illustrates the process of producing smoked fish. Overall, the process is rather complicated, with more than ten consecutive steps. Notably, the first process starts with catching fish and ends when it is distributed to fish shops.
Initially, fish are caught in seas and oceans. Then, they are transported by a small boat to a port where all the fish are stored. The next step involves freezing the fish in a box-shaped container. After this, frozen fish are thawed in fresh water to be easy to be chopped. In the following process, a fish is cut open to remove its head and tail, which finishes the primary preparation process.
After chopping, salt water and some yellow colour are added to the fish to be prepared for the cooking process. Then, the fish are roasted and smoked on a grill stove. Next, grilled fish are packed into a box like a pizza package before they are again frozen at 0 Celsius. In the eventual processes, the frozen fish are stored in a large container-like box before they are delivered and distributed by a lorry to fish shops.
The essay is generally well-organized and logically sequenced. However, some transitions between steps could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each step is clearly connected to the next.
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, but some phrases could be more precise.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively describes the process of making smoked fish, covering all major steps shown in the diagram.