The diagram shows the process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates the process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine in 3 stages and 11 steps.
The process of making products, such as oil and margarine starts from harvesting the crop – the raw material from the fields. Then, raw materials are transported to a factory via sea roads and put in huge containers, which can be named “silos” by farmers. From there, second stage starts, the silos inside of the silos, raw materials – coconuts, peanuts and sunflowers are sent to a special machines, which crushes and mills them. Next step is pressing and filtering the oil. When products are filtered, they’re need to be steamed, steaming is the final step of the second stage.
Then, when oils are ready, we can divide them to 3 categories: sunflower oils, coconut oils and refined oils. Third stage mainly consists of generating oils to products and transporting them to consumers. When oils are divided to categories, products such as butter and oil are produced and transmitted to supermarkets and shops for selling.
The essay generally follows a logical sequence but lacks smooth transitions between some steps.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Clearly separate stages and steps.
- Summarize the process more cohesively.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary but lacks precision in some areas.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures.
The essay covers the main stages of the process but lacks detailed comparisons and some clarity in steps.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons where relevant.
- Ensure all steps are clearly described.
- Summarize the process effectively.