The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminium cans
The diagram indicates the reproducing process of aluminum cans. Overall, it is noticeable that, the recycling process consists of seven parts.
Firstly, people used cans. After that, they throw cans and trashes in the rubbish bins. Secondly, workers collect cans in the trucks. Namely, they clean bins from garbages. Thirdly, people bring cans to cleaning, sorting, shredding and compressing centre by truck. After that, cans are melted after cleaning machine.
According to the diagram, rubbishes are heated. Next, cans come round shape during the recycling time. Approximately, they are rolled from 2,5 mm to 6 mm thick. They are recycled after rolling. As a result, people can reuse cans.
The essay is logically organized and each step in the process is clearly outlined. However, there are some areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved for better flow and coherence.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph are closely related to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the task. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
The essay provides a clear and detailed description of the recycling process for aluminum cans as indicated in the diagram. The writer outlines each step of the process, from the initial use of the cans to the final recycling, effectively conveying the information.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The task requires you to describe the recycling process of aluminum cans, but you have provided some information about the process that is not directly related to the task. Stick to the information provided in the diagram and avoid adding any additional details that are not explicitly mentioned.