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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pictures depict the materials and steps used in cement production, and using cement in the concrete-making process for construction purposes. Overall, the cement production process consists of 6 stages while concrete production consists of 2 stages, from raw material to commercial product.
The initial phase of production starts with making a powder using a crusher transferring limestone and clay. Then, the materials are mixed together in specialized equipment, including a mixer and a rotating heater. After being subjected to intense heat in the rotating heater, the materials are transformed into clinker. In the next stage, the clinker is transferred from the grinder before becoming a cement. The final stage of cement-making ends with packaging them into special bags.
As for concrete-making, 4 main different ingredients are used including cement, water, sand, and gravel. Absolutely, all of them are not used in equal amounts. So, 15 percent of our concrete is cement, 10 percent is water, a quarter is sand and a half is gravel. In order for the concrete to be completely ready, these 4 different products are put into the concrete mixer.

6.5

The essay presents information in a logical sequence with some use of linking words. However, there are areas where connections between ideas could be clearer.

Suggestions
  • Use more varied linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.
  • Improve transitions between the cement and concrete processes.

The essay uses appropriate vocabulary for the topic with some variety. However, there is room for more precise and varied language.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are occasional errors that affect clarity.

The essay adequately summarizes the main features of the diagrams and makes some comparisons. It could benefit from more detailed analysis and comparison.

Suggestions
  • Provide more detailed comparisons between the two processes.
  • Include specific data from the diagrams to support descriptions.