The given diagram illustrates information about the reproduce aluminium cans
At a glance the diagram given bring information about the how reproduce aluminium cans.
Overall,it can be seen that process contains seven stages. It begins with the rubbish cans and ends with ready to use.
First of all, people use from aluminium cans and then they are thrown out to bins.
Many trucks would collect all of the rubbish cases and they are delivered to factories. In factories they saw experiences which include cleaning, sorting, shredding and compressing. After this, they would be heated and melted in a shape.
Second of all, the process comes to rolling the product by 2,5mm- 6mm thick. It continues with recycling in a shape. Finally, they get ready to utilize. 74% of the product were recycled and other percentage were another material.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the process. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary that is generally appropriate for the task. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader.
The essay provides a detailed description of the process shown in the diagram. The writer addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the process. However, the writer could improve the clarity of the description by using more specific language and by providing a more detailed explanation of each stage of the process.
Suggestions
- Use more specific language to describe the process.
- Provide a more detailed explanation of each stage of the process.