The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the rate of the population in Philippines, Malaysia , Thailand and Indonesia who lived there between 1970 and 2020 , with predictions until 2040.
Overall, the population percentage in all countries increased throughout the period with Malaysia that showed the highest figure in the end of the period.
The population percentage in Thailand and Indonesia showed an upward trend from 15% in 1970 to 25% in 2000. The rate of people in Indonesia went through a period of dramatic increase to 50% in 2020 , exceeding the number in Philippines , which had only 40 % . The Thailand people rate remained steady until 2020 and then predicted that it will be climbing gradually reaching around 45% in the end of the period , while in Indonesia this percentage will reach 60% in 2040.
The rate of population in Malaysia and Philippines was the same(30%) in 1970 and both indicators fluctuated until 1990, when in this year , percentage of people in Malaysia started increasing until the end of the period , and predicted that it will reach its peak to 80% in 2040 . The percentage in Philippines decreased until 2010 and only then it will be climbing to 50% in 2040
The essay presents information in a logical sequence, but some parts are disjointed or unclear. Transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Group similar ideas together for clarity.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and misses some key features.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for better analysis.
- Make clearer comparisons between countries.
- Highlight significant trends and changes.