The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries.
The graph provides information about the number of clothes which were exported from three countries, over a four-year period from 1999 to 2003
On the whole, it is evident from the graph is that , Although, Colombia and Myanmar experienced an upward trend, there was a falling trend in the number of clothes which were exported from Japan
As regards , Myanmar saw a sharp increase over the first two-years of the whole period from 1999 to 2001. Having increased sharply in 1999, then in 2002 there was a quick decline to under 400 million clothes exported , while it finished in 2003 with over 400 million clothes exported, which means that it was the sector with the highest number of clothes. The Colombia saw a consistent increase before the fall in 2002 , whereas it finished with the highest number of clothes.
With respect to Japan, the trend increased by about 600 million clothes in 2001 , while after 2001 the sector of Japan experienced a consistent decline. In 2003 then exportation trend of Japan was finished with under 500 million exported clothes.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the trends in clothing exports from the three countries. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic of clothing exports. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation that could be improved.
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally accurate in terms of grammar. However, there are some minor errors that could be improved.
The essay provides a detailed description of the information presented in the graph. The essay addresses the task requirements and presents a clear overview of the trends in clothing exports from the three countries. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding some of the more repetitive language.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details about the data shown in the graph.
- Avoid repetitive language and pronouns.