The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries

The line graph illustrates the changes that occurred from 1999 to 2003 in three different countries. Units are measured in million dollars.
Overall, it can be that clothing exportation rates increased in Columbia, while the reverse was true for Japan and Myanmar. Notably, Myanmar was the only nation that gained popularity quickly and lost it in the final year.
In the beginning of the period, the number of exported cloth in Colombia was around 480 million dollars, whereas this figure was higher in Japan, accounting for approximately 580 million dollars.Interestingly, both trends almost met at the same point in the next year, constituting about $520 million. In Colombia, exportation rates continued its steady growth, peaking at $7 million in 2002 before declining dramatically by nearly $100 million. The number of clothing exports fluctuated until 2002 and followed a gradual decrease to $500 million.
In terms of Myanmar, exportation of clothing numbers plummeted from around $10 million to $800 million in 2000, and hit the highest points making up roughly $930 million. In contrast, the subsequent year, this figure plunged to about $320 million and witnessed a slight rise to $420 million in 2003.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking words. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents a clear comparison of the data.