The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives details about the numbers of members for various activities at one public centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.
In general, number of participants in film club remained the highest and stable throughout the given period of time. The number of members attending table tennis club increased the most, compared to other numbers.
To begin with, number of tennis club members was the lowest in the beginning of the given time frame. However, in 2010 the numbers hugely increased, contributing to 50 in 2020. Meanwhile, the number of attendants in martial arts remained stable, displaying only insignificant decrease in 2005 and 2015.
The number of participants in amateur dramatics club was first rising insignificantly, but then started dropping from 2005 till 2020. Members of musical performances joined the club only in 2005, and then the number of attendants started rising steadily, contributing to approximately 20 in 2020. The number of film club members remained stable for 20 years, showing only insignificant ups and downs.
The essay provides a general overview and attempts to compare different activities. However, some sentences lack clarity and cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Clarify comparisons to enhance understanding.
The essay uses a basic range of vocabulary with some repetition. More varied and precise vocabulary could enhance the description.
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are occasional errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main features and making some comparisons. However, more detailed analysis and specific data references could improve task achievement.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of trends.
- Ensure all main features are covered.