The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrate information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne,Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.Overall, the five figure has a line graph:Film club,Martial arts,Amateur dramatics,Table tennis,Musical performances.Film club and Table tenis was the pick figure.
The Martial arts since 2000 stay with 35 participants from 2020.Table tennis since 2000 with 15 participants gradually grow up to 20 participants until 2005 after that significantly increase to 55 participants.Amateur dramatics with 25 participants slowly grow up to 30 after in 2005 significantly plummet to 5 participants in 2020.With 0 participants from 2005 Musical performances considerably rise to 20 participant until 2020.And the pick figure was Film club since 2000 until 2010 stay between 65 participants,after slowly jump to 70 participants the period 2010 to 2020.
The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The information is presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, making it difficult to follow.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphs to separate different ideas.
- Improve the logical flow of information.
- Use linking words to connect ideas.
The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inappropriate. There are several spelling errors.
There are numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures.
The essay attempts to describe the graph but lacks clarity and completeness. Key features and comparisons are missing or unclear.
Suggestions
- Include more comparisons between activities.
- Clearly describe trends and changes over time.
- Ensure all activities are covered with relevant details.