The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph compares the process of spending free time in elderly people in the united states over a period of 30 years. It is clear that hiking was the most popular activity for elderly people over the period shown. Theater provided the lowest activity that elderly people do compared other activities. In 1980, watching TV was one of the main activities for elderly people which includes approximately 60 percentof them. Reading and surfing the internet formed the lowest common activities among elderly people .in 1980, Surfing the internet provided lower than 10 percentof popularity.
The essay has a logical flow of information and ideas. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices, which affects the overall cohesion of the essay. Additionally, the use of pronouns and referencing is a bit confusing, which could make it difficult for the reader to follow your analysis.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing. Also, be sure to use pronouns and referencing clearly to avoid confusion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the different activities. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, “Theater provided the lowest activity that elderly people do compared other activities” is not phrased correctly. It would be more accurate to say, “Among all the activities, theater was the least popular for elderly people.”
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are some errors and awkward phrasings that affect the overall clarity. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the overall clarity. For example, “In 1980, watching TV was one of the main activities for elderly people which includes approximately 60 percentof them” should be “In 1980, watching TV was one of the main activities for elderly people, which included approximately 60% of them.”
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples. The essay provides a basic overview of the data and identifies the most popular and least popular activities. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples. For example, the essay could mention the exact percentages of elderly people who participated in each activity. Additionally, the essay could compare the data to previous years or other countries to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and examples to support your main points. For example, you could mention the exact percentages of elderly people who participated in each activity. This would make your analysis more detailed and convincing.