The graph below shows population figures for India and China since the year 2000 and predicted population growth up until 2050.
The line graph illustrates the number of population in two different countries with predicted climb from 2000 to 2050.
Overall , the population dynamic India and China increased during the whole period , with the former seeing a more noticeable change.
Initially the population in India composed 1 billion, while in Chine it was around 1,2 billion people. In 2015 this number increased dramatically in India and China , reaching around 1,3 and 1,4 respectively. The population in India will see the moderate growth to 1,4 billion in 2025 , while in China it will compose slightly more than 1,4 billion people.
The quantity of population in India will go through a period of dramatic increase to 1,5 billion in 2035, exceeding the number in China , which will have only around 1,4 billion people at the same time. In the end of the period in 2050 , the population in China will have slight decrease to 1,4 billion , whereas in India this indicator climb to 1,6 billion taking the leadership.
The essay generally follows a logical structure but lacks clear linking between some ideas. There are minor issues with paragraphing and transitions.
Suggestions
- Use clearer transitions between ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid repetition of similar phrases.
The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat repetitive. There is a need for more variety in word choice.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. There is a need for improved accuracy and variety in grammatical structures.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some key points from the graph are omitted.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points from the graph.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of trends.
- Ensure all key information is covered.